‘My pregnancy is high risk but my husband refuses to cancel his holiday to stay with me’

When you’re pregnant, the last thing you want to happen is for your significant other to leave you on your own to look after your toddler – especially when they’re going on a trip away which includes potentially a lot of partying.

A mum claims to have found herself in this exact situation and to make matters worse she shared how she’s high risk.

She took to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum to explain what was happening, and to ask for some advice.

She explained: “My husband is planning to go on an all-expenses-paid celebratory trip with colleagues to Europe soon (and is adding a couple of days to see family). At the time of his travels, I will be 32/33 weeks pregnant with our second child.

“Although I really would love for him to go and have some fun, there’s several reasons why I’m not feeling good about him going on this trip.”

She then listed the reasons why she felt uncomfortable- the pregnancy is high risk, she’s looking after their toddler, they’ve recently moved to another continent and have no support network, he would be away for 10 days 15 hours away, and the 32-week mark is an emotional time due to her last pregnancy.

She is also at a higher risk of getting pre-eclampsia, and to make matters worse, the event will be at a destination famous for its party scene.

She continued: “Although I don’t want to be the one telling him he can’t go, I have mentioned to him that I feel uncomfortable with him going on this trip. He says he feels bad for going but does not consider cancelling.

“Am I the ahole for making him feel bad for going on this trip? Or is he ahole for putting this trip over his wife and children’s wellbeing?”

People assured the woman that she was not in the wrong for wanting the support of her husband whilst she’s pregnant.

One said: “How the hell are you supposed to ‘take it easy’ with a toddler without a support system in place? You know no one right now, and “no lifting anything” is impossible with a little one.

“If your husband is still planning on going on this trip, regardless of risk to you and baby (not to mention the toddler!), then he’s the a**hole and you need to remind him that right now, you’re the priority, not a European holiday.

“Put your foot down and his actions going forward will tell you whether you and the kids are really that important to him. Then you can plan for the next steps.”

Another wrote: “If he doesn’t reconsider this trip and stay home, I would be reconsidering the whole marriage!”

“If your husband is old enough to be a husband and father, he’s old enough to put his wants aside and focus on his duties: to you, to your toddler, and to your as-yet-unborn baby”, one quipped.

They continued: “Given all the risk factors for your pregnancy, he would be the a**hole if he went on this trip anyway. He needs to be at home, helping with the toddler, and making sure you’re following doctors’ orders to protect your baby.

“Will it suck for him? Yes. Is it a bummer? Absolutely? Does that change things? No. Being an adult means making hard choices, and this is one of those times.”